Celebrity Ass-trology -- Lily Allen

1. tell this bitch to stop breathing an f**k off am tired this stupid bitch somebody needs tp punch her in her mouth

Posted at 11:53AM on Jun 30th 2007 by max

2. That bitch looks like a dork and has a stupid ass haircut, haha.

Posted at 11:55AM on Jun 30th 2007 by Ricky Rockhardo

3. I automatically hate her for dissin Madonna. Don't even know who she is, but she wishes she were so overrated. And yeah, Amy Winehouse is fakin it. Right.

Posted at 11:58AM on Jun 30th 2007 by Kimmer

4. This girl is really starting to get on my nerves. Amy Winehouse doesn't use her real voice? Well, I saw her in a video performing live, acapella, and she sounded exactly the same as she does on her cds. I am starting to think Lily is a little crazy. And Madonna? She's created more good music than Lily ever has. When Lily's been around for 25 years then maybe she can talk, but she needs to just shut up.

Posted at 12:03PM on Jun 30th 2007 by michelle

5. Honestly... why can this chick crawl back under the rock from whence she came? Her music is annoying! I've seen her live, and she's honestly not that good.
I'd love to know why she feels she can trash Madonna. Granted not everyone likes Madonna - but no one can refute the fact that Madonna has contributed more to music than Lily Allen ever will.
Maybe next time one of the pap's will 'accidentally' run her over... then we can all breath a sigh of relief :)

Posted at 12:06PM on Jun 30th 2007 by Daniel

6. I just saw looked up this girl on Myspace.....sher is pretty good, retro kinda music. Don't like her remarks about Madonna, tho.

Posted at 12:10PM on Jun 30th 2007 by Shonie Sue

7. When Lily Allen has managed to stay on top for 20+ years, then she can slag on about who's overrated or not. Till then, I'd suggest she stop coasting on her daddy's name, take some singing lessons, get herself the services of a good songwriter or two, and rack up more than a couple of Top 40 UK singles before she anoints herself the talent guru of the music world.

Posted at 12:45PM on Jun 30th 2007 by cubalibre

8. Hey Lily girl, It is always best for artists not to publicly bash other artists....it makes you look really bad and turns off fans & potential fans to your music

Posted at 1:14PM on Jun 30th 2007 by rule of thumb...

9. She needs to focus on having ONE international hit before bashing Madonna's almost 25 years at the top of the industry

Posted at 5:24PM on Jun 30th 2007 by Alex

10. She sounds like a total bitch!

Posted at 5:26PM on Jun 30th 2007 by Alex

11. WHO is this GD nobody? Please cover the Stedman/Dina/Tara fight!!!!

Posted at 8:39PM on Jun 30th 2007 by WWJD to Ann Coulter?

12. Amy Sedaris Announces Completion of Draft Agreement with Matt Groening for Jerri Blank, "Strangers With Candy" Characters to Appear on "The Simpsons" 500th Episode

2007-07-01 04:47:38 - Their high school long ago burnt to a crisp, "Anti-Lisa" Jerri Blank and "Strangers With Candy" gang seek to make Springfield their new home -- at least temporarily!

New York, New York (PRInside.com) July 1, 2007 -- Amy Sedaris, the New York Times best-selling author of the light-hearted approach to cooking, "I Like You: Entertaining Under the Influence," and a star of the recently released cult film "Strangers With Candy," announced today that she had reached the completion of the drafting of an agreement to present to Hollywood animation legend Matt Groening that would allow Jerri Blank and the beloved student body and faculty of "Strangers With Candy's" Flatpoint High to take up temporary residence in Springfield for the 500th episode of the Emmy Award winning animated series, "The Simpsons."

"I spent several days drafting this agreement, and I included in it numerous clauses and sub-clauses, with substantial agreements for remunerations and disbursements, and there are also some waivers, and some subwaivers, and also a disclosure or two, and there is one subdisclosure, as I recall, and an addendum or two, and then there is a line at the bottom for Matt to sign, right at the bottom, plenty of room there," said Sedaris, an Aries. "I had a book I used. So I'm looking forward to this, and there is any amount of mischief that Jerri Blank and her gang can cause by moving into Springfield, and here I think we might be talking about plotlines involving baby farms, crystal meth labs, a prostitution ring or two, a food poisoning epidemic caused by the sale of off-brand Girl Scout cookies made illegally in Manchuria... Fun stuff like that, because after 19 years of fandom and adoration, we pretty much know which way Matt Groening likes to roll with his plotlines."

Sedaris said she predicted Groening woud be "moist as a snack cake" after he reads her draft proposal. "And from there, the ball will be in his court, and we can only hope that he reaches for the lowest star possible -- which in this case is us."

"Strangers With Candy," which Sedaris co-wrote with Paul Dinello and Stephen Colbert, was based on Sedaris' impression of 1970s motivational speaker Florrie Fisher. Produced by Comedy Central, the series's main character, Jerri Blank (played by Sedaris), was a runaway returning to high school as a freshman at age 46 at the fictional Flatpoint High School, in the town of Flatpoint. According to the show's animated introduction, Jerri ran away from home and became "a boozer, a user, and a loser," after dropping out of high school as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she, in her words, "stole the TV."

"I view Jerri Blank as kind of an Anti-Lisa," said Sedaris. "She is basically the opposite of everything Lisa Simpson stands for, Lisa's every nightmare come to life. Although, I do think Marge's sisters might find some of Jerri's qualities to be quite appealing -- as might Homer himself. She could almost be Homer's long-lost sister, assuming anyone is willing to stoop that low, and I know that we here on this side definitely are, if not lower. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see what kind of brilliance Matt Groening and his team will bring to it."

Every "Strangers With Candy" episode featured a theme or moral lesson, although the lessons were often amoral or warped. In an episode about eating disorders, for example, Jerri learns that it's okay to become an anorexic, because it will get people to pay attention to you. When Jerri's father passes away in the episode "The Goodbye Guy," Jerri learns the valuable lesson, "You never really 'lose' your parents. Unless of course they die. Then they're gone forever. And nothing will bring them back." In another episode, Jerri learned: "Violence really isn't the only way to resolve a conflict, but it's the only way to win it." The show ended with the burning down of Flatpoint High School after it was announced the series would be replaced by a series called "Strip Mall."

More recently, Sedaris starred as the voice of Cinderella in the just-released animated feature "Shrek the Third," a major international box-office hit. She has also been featured in animated hits such as "Chicken Little" and is a frequent guest on "Late Night With David Letterman."

The landmark 400th half-hour of "The Simpsons," which aired in May, was a spoof of Fox's "24" entitled "24 Minutes" and that featured the drama's Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub as their characters. The series is seen in more than 70 countries, which along with scads of "Simpsons"-based merchandise has made it a reported billion-dollar cartoon cash cow for Fox parent News Corp.

"The Simpsons" has been renewed by Fox through its 19th year. The ensemble voice cast includes Nancy Cartwright as Bart, Dan Castellaneta as dad Homer, Julie Kavner as mom Marge, Yeardley Smith as sister Lisa, Harry Shearer as boss man Mr. Burns and Hank Azaria as police Chief Wiggum (Azaria and several others in the cast perform multiple voices).

Last fall, it won its ninth Emmy for best animated series and has received best voiceover performance and other honors. Groening called the latest award "a shot in the arm. ... I thought people might be jaded but, no, they weren't."

"My attitude at this point is, as long as the people who work on the show are having a good time, let's keep doing it," Groening recently told the Associated Press. "We've always tried to entertain ourselves and figured that the outside world would be entertained if we were making ourselves laugh. The people currently on staff are determined not to be the staff that caused the show to crash and burn. But also to try to top ourselves."

The key is to keep surprising the audience, which he acknowledged has become tougher because the show has "covered a lot of territory" through the years. It has, in fact, brilliantly lampooned nearly every aspect of American life and culture -- except, of course, the cult cable hit, "Strangers With Candy."

"There's a really good-natured spirit of competitiveness among the youngest writers on the staff who basically grew up watching the show and have a great memory for everything that's gone before," Groening has said.

Sedaris recently made the news when it was announced that a Sedaris brand of consumer goods would be launched this year, with some products hitting the shelves as early as Fall of 2007. The Sedaris-branded products aim to capitalize on the Sedaris trademark qualities of silliness and inclusiveness. First to the marketplace will be a series of greeting cards -- "probably marketed either through American Greetings or Hallmark's Shoebox label" -- featuring various existing photographs of Sedaris in humorous poses.

"There is a photo of Amy in which she is covered in sprinkles that has already become extremely popular among a certain subset of suburban teenage boys," says Sedaris spokesperson Myron Kempelstein. "And the less said about that particular subset the better, but they do have substantial disposable income, and that's a good thing. And there will also be a set of holiday cards showing Amy holding a big baked turkey, similar to the photo on the cover of her best-selling book, 'I Like You.'"

A line of Sedaris branded holiday wrapping paper is also in the works, and that will most likely be marketed exclusively through Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and big box retailers such as Costco, Target and Wal-mart. "There will be two basic designs," says Sedaris. "One will feature photos of Santa, the Christmas Rabbit, half-used spools of Scotch-brand tape, packs of 'AA' Energizer batteries, a few broken ornaments, those mini-liquor bottles that are America's favorite stocking stuffers -- and of course photos of me. And the other design, aimed more at the kids market, will feature photos of Santa, the Christmas Rabbit, myself of course, some holly maybe, or maybe not, bowling pins exploding in a strike or a spare, and photos of large checks written by various unmarried aunts, uncles, and sundry parties. All on a background of tens and twenties."

A mix-tape of Sedaris' favorite new music -- "played by bands that came into being only after the year 2000," says Sedaris -- has been requested by a large upscale retail chain. "We're tentatively calling it 'New Music for Old People,'" Sedaris notes. "It's great new music that these oldsters -- many of whom turned away from music entirely during the tragic music scene of the Eighties -- have never before heard." And a line of personal submersibles may also be in the works, says Sedaris: "We're looking ahead to see what new products might be needed as the effects of Global Warming become more and more pronounced."

Looking forward, Sedaris and Kempelstein look to promote the Sedaris brand in emerging marketplaces such as China, Thailand, Nesia and even Indonesia. "She's young, she's strong, she's got the legs of a mongoose, and she's got good hair," says Kempelstein. "She's willing to make the personal appearances that it will take to launch her brand in some of the needier spots of the world."

Concludes Sedaris: "If I can achieve in China what Rodney Alan Greenblat has achieved in Japan, I will feel my efforts will have been a major success. And I'm hoping to get a lot of advice on this launch from my friend and mentor Martha Stewart."

Among her other accomplishments, Sedaris was named "Face of the Year" by MSNBC.com in 1997. She is the sister of well-known Greek-American radio announcer David Sedaris, a recent subject of scandal.

Posted at 10:55PM on Jun 30th 2007 by Jake Barnes

13. Previous commentors...please realize that no matter who she is, she's entitled to her own opinion whether you agree with it or not, you certainly have yours...so stop hating and grow up.

Posted at 12:51AM on Jul 1st 2007 by bmorehousehoney

14. Poor Lilly- that girl has poor self-confidence so she is resorting to trashing others instead. She should invest in a real good psychologist and work out some of those feelings so she can ride her 15 minutes of fame gracefully.

Posted at 10:37AM on Jul 2nd 2007 by Marla